Empty Glass
by SnappleApple450
Summary: Sequel to Glass of Water Bella went to Volterra to save Edward, but Edward doesn't remember her. She loses all hope as she watches her love become a monster. Everything worth living for is gone. The power of love dies in many forms...
1. Preface

**Ok I took my break. A whole 9 hours! I'm rested up and ready to start the sequel. Now this story has lyrics in it mostly from Evanescence (bcuz I happened to be in that mood while writing it) so if you have the cd "Fallen" by Evanescence, listen to it. It really helps with the mood of this story. ;)**

**After I finish this story, I am doing it from Edward's pov bcuz a lot happened to him without Bella there so plan on a...threequel? Is that what it's called? Well whatever.**

**Now onto the the sequel......preface! Just a taste of the mood to expect. Please leave a review despite the short length. Thank you.**

**Song used: My Immortal - Evanescence**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

_What is death? Death is losing something close to you, whether it be a part of yourself, a friend, a past life, a memory; all equally painful in their own way. But how painful can death be if you don't remember life? How painful can death be if you _want_ death? If you crave for it to come and take you away from the real pain. Life. How painful can death really be then?_

I often thought about death while laying in my cell, staring at the stone ceiling. Death was an easy thought, unlike life. Life was filled with endless questions, but death was simply...dead. Nothing to question, nothing to talk about. Like a dead end, you don't look for a way out of a dead end except back the way you came. But it didn't work that way, life. No, a dead end was a dead end. You can't reverse life, you can only hope it's not what it seems. That it is, in fact, not a dead end, but a hidden path, but that was rare in any circumstances.

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

I would do anything for a reversal on life. I would apologize to all the people I hurt, I would never have thrown that rock at Adam's window, I would never have said goodbye to Edward. Because of all that, Adam was dead and Edward, _my Edward, _was gone. Not dead, no, that was too easy a way out. He was a new person. He had no idea who any of us were; not Jasper or Alice...or me. He was gone. He now wore a black cloak and his once golden, beautiful eyes, were crimson red. He was Edward, member of the Volturi.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

That thought brought my knees to my chest in a fetal position every time. I didn't plan on living long now, anyway. It was only a matter of time before they grow tired and kill me.

Only time. That's all I had, time and memories to fill it with. Memories I had plenty of of, but I never ventured into them. They were too painful. Jasper, in the cell over, would try desperately to calm me, rarely succeeding.

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me_

There were only two emotions I felt these days: misery and nothing. Nothing was becoming the dominant emotion, soon even despair would cease to exist within me, just like my hope. That was the first to go, right after joy and love.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along  
_  
Even though I never visited my past, I knew it was there. And knowing that gave me the air I breathed every day.....


	2. Hope gets harder with each breath

**Just to let you guys know, the preface was a part from Bella in the future. Someone said they think Bella gave up to easily, but this story leads up to why she loses hope. She didn't immediately surrender. Patience people. ^_^**

**Song used: Bring Me to Life - Evanescence**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

_--three days after Glass of Water ends--_

"What is my name?" I asked, desperately wanting to hear him say my name. Wanting to hear the loving tone in his voice as my name rolled off his tongue.

His brow furrowed in frustration. "How should I know? You haven't told me yet."

My knees collapsed with the weight of my sorrows. "Don't you remember me at all?" I begged in a whisper.

"Of course," I looked up into his eyes. "You came here two days ago, I didn't forget."

Edward sat in the far corner away from me. He wouldn't come any closer because my blood called to him. He had a need for my blood, but he fought it. Even not knowing me anymore, he still fought. That gave me hope that a part of him still remembered me. I looked into his eyes and saw nothing. I saw an absence of love that was never missing before. Now it seemed it was never there.

_how can you see into my eyes like open doors  
leading you down into my core  
where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
until you find it there and lead it back home_

"Edward," tears fell down my cheek. "My name is Isabella Marie Swan."

He bowed his head politely. "I'm Edward Anthony Mason."

My eyes widened. How far did he forget his life? "Don't you mean Cullen?"

His brow furrowed deeper. "My father's surname was Mason."

A cry of pain escaped my lips. Edward looked worried, but he stayed firmly against the wall. "In 1918, Carlisle Cullen changed you. He adopted you into his family of vampires. You also have an adoptive mother, Esme Cullen, and your siblings: Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice. You. Are. A. Cullen." I tried to get it across his head but he refused to listen.

He was silent for the longest time, deep in thought. With a resigned sigh, I got up off the cold floor and headed for the door.

"Wait," he reached out to stop me. I turned around with hope in my eyes. "You say I'm a part of this Cullen family?" I nodded slowly. The way he said 'Cullen' as if it were a foriegn word... "And your name is Swan?" I closed my eyes to the tears as he continued. "You're not part of that family...what are you?" He asked in a whisper, desperate to solve a mystery.

_(Wake me up) Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up) Wake me up inside  
(Save me) call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up) bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up) before I come undone  
(Save me) save me from the nothing I've become_

I opened my eyes and laid them on his black ones. Slowly I stepped towards him, raising my hand to his angular face and resting it on his cheek. "I'm a forgotten memory, Edward."

And with that, I left the cell, back to mine with my vampire escort. Edward leaned his forehead against the bars, following me with his eyes. I passed Jasper's cell on the way, he looked out at me. I turned away from his caring eyes and moved faster. The guard led me into my cell and locked the door behind him. I curled into a ball on my wooden bed and cried. I cried for my lost love.

_now that I know what I'm without  
you can't just leave me  
breathe into me and make me real  
bring me to life_

"Bella?" Alice's soft voice called through the stone slabs. I rolled over, ignoring her. Ignoring the world. "Bella, I know you can hear me." _Silence. _"Then just listen. Edward isn't coming back. He's gone, Bella, and you're only hurting yourself by continuing to see him. Aro is coming for him in the morning. He's dead to us."

I swiftly moved from my bed and forcefully hit the wall separating Alice from me. "HE'S NOT DEAD TO ME!" I screamed through my sobs. My hand started to bleed from the impact of the stone; I caressed it to my chest, crying. "He's not dead to me..."

_frozen inside without your touch, without your love, darling only you are the life among the dead_

I heard the surrendering sigh from Alice's end. "Bella, I'm sorry. Please don't hurt yourself. The last thing you need to be doing is bleeding in a place filled with vampires."

I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. "He's not dead yet. I can't give up." I let Jasper calm me as much as he could, but my mind still screamed and cried, even though my body couldn't.

"Go to sleep, Bella. Get some rest." Alice whispered to me.

I put my bleeding hand in my pocket and fell into a disturbing slumber. All through the night, I screamed for my Edward to save himself. Again, he was drowning in the waters, but he no longer looked sad, merely confused. Jane was on the land beckoning for him to follow her as I screamed at him.

"Isabella, I am here! Wake up!" Edward called to me from reality. "Wake up!"

I opened my eyes to my angel's face. He was leaning over me with wild worried eyes. In joy at seeing him, I flung my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He sat, rigid and confused. "You talk in your sleep. Did you know that?" He asked through clenched teeth.

I pulled back and stared into his eyes. "Yes, I know. You used to sit in my room and listen to my dreams as I'd sleep. Don't you remember?" I knew I should listen to Alice, but I was stubborn. Edward was right in front of me, I just had to open his eyes.

"Would I get enjoyment out of hearing you scream?" Edward asked in disgust with himself.

I looked down at my hands. "No, my dreams didn't always result in screaming." I tried to give my best smile, but failed miserably.

He sat in silence, trying to figure out what I meant. "Isabella, I have a question that has been bothering me ever since I first met you."

"Which first?" My voice wavered slightly.

His brow almost becoming a permanent furrow. "A few days ago," he clarified. I nodded, too afraid my voice would give me away. Edward watched me as I laid in pain. "Why can't I read your mind? You _must _be thinking of something the way you'll suddenly grasp your chest at something someone says. Why is it only your mind I can't read?" He desperately wanted to know what I knew. Like always.

_all this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me_

I smiled with a quivering lip. "I'm a mystery now."

He frowned. "You mean, I used to be able to read your mind?"

I touched his cheek again. "No, but you used to see inside my eyes and know exactly what was on my mind. You didn't need a mind reading power to know where my thoughts were."

_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
got to open my eyes to everything_

He touched my hand and focused on my eyes. "And what would you think about all the time?" He asked softly. The guard showed up at the door, ready for Edward to leave. He saw this, but didn't leave from my side.

I smiled faintly, removing my hand. "You were always in my head, Edward. You never left." The guard pulled Edward out of the cell and away from me.

_without a thought without a voice without a soul  
don't let me die here  
there must be something more  
bring me to life_

"Stay there, Edward. Aro wants to see you." My heart paced double time at the familiar voice. Jane laughed. "I see Bella is excited to see me." She walked into my cell and saw me cowering in the corner. A smile crawled across her face. "Dearest Bella, it's so nice to see you again." I was frozen in fear, the memories of that night coming back. "How was your stay in the loony bin?" I glared back at her, trying to be fearless. She frowned, fire in her eyes. "You will speak when I talk to you!"

Suddenly I was on the ground, writhing in pain. I screamed out to make her stop. As suddenly as it came, it vanished. I got up and pressed myself as far into the corner as it would allow. My bubble was gone. It wouldn't protect me anymore. My bubble...

Jane had a look of smugness on her face. "Hmm...it seems your shield is weakening." She smiled once before leaving. "It's too bad."

For the first time, I noticed Alec behind her. He watched me sadly as I shook in fear. "Bella..." He seemed at a loss for words. "I'll come back later tonight." I turned my head away, letting my hair fall like a curtain.

Jane snapped her fingers, Alec and Edward followed her out of the room. I knew now that Edward was gone. My Edward would never have allowed that, especially sat watching willingly. I was alone. All alone.

"Bella? What happened? Jane hurt you..." Alice grew silent.

I didn't know why Jane's power suddenly worked on me. Did that mean all mind power's worked on me now? Could Edward read my mind now?

"Bella," Jasper spoke for the first time since we got here. "Bella, what _happened _to you....in Jacksonville? As soon as you saw her...your emotions..."

I curled into a ball, wrapping my arms around my knees. "An innocent boy...Adam, he was my friend," a tear fell to the ground as I remembered when I first met him.

_He thrust his hand out with a smile. "I'm Adam, your neighbor."_

_I shook his hand unenthusiastically. "I'm Bella."_

_He smiled widely. "Your mom has been talking to mine about us becoming friends." He talked without any help from me._

_I grabbed a tray of food and walked to an empty table, Adam followed. "All the more reasons to ignore each other," I replied indifferently._

_His smile faltered. "I wasn't insinuating anything." He said sincerely._

_"And the last thing I'm looking for is company," I put it bluntly._

_He sat there for a second, watching me. "I know those rumors aren't true," he stated._

_"You don't know anything. Look Adam, it's not you, it's me. I don't need friends. Thank you, but no. Victoria or Veruca or whatever the hell her name is, is right. I'm a zombie that lives in my own world. I don't socialize, I don't date, I don't care."_

_"Everybody needs friends," he chuckled lightly._

_I leveled my glare at him. "I don't. Good bye."_

Somehow that same day, back at the house, our little notes to each other...we became friends without me even realizing it.

I came back to the present, Alice and Jasper waiting. "Jane caught him with the charm bracelet Alice gave me and...Jane..." I was silent. The memories of Adam's death circled in my head, over and over like a broken record. A repeating nightmare. "After seeing that...being the reason Adam is dead... I was sent to a mental institution. I just lost it after that. ...That's where Tina found me."

No one spoke, the sympathy in the room was almost tangible. "Bella...what charm bracelet?" Alice asked warily.

I looked down at my wrist. "What do you mean? This charm bracelet with a charm for every Cullen. You left it in my..." I faded in horror. "It wasn't you?" Alice and Jasper remained quiet. I pulled the bracelet off and threw it across the room. Each charm clanked against the wall, dropping to the floor.

That's why Jane never smelled Alice in my room. I always counted it as being lucky. But why would Jane give me something to remind me of the Cullen's, then kill Adam for getting it? It didn't make sense.

"Where's Tina?" I asked suddenly.

"I don't know," Alice just realized. "I haven't seen her since..."

Jasper growled, hitting the wall. "Since she led us to the Volturi!"

"You mean, Tina is a Volturi member?" I whispered.

Jasper hit the wall again, causing little rocks to fall on me. "Agh! She tricked us!"

"But why didn't she just _force _us to come?" I asked. I noticed how Alice stayed silent.

"She can't force us. That's Danny's power." Jasper was seething.

I froze. "No, she said she could manipulate people. I saw her do it!"

"Bella, her power is the manipulation of your memories," Alice spoke. "She can change, rearrange, or completely erase them."

I gasped. "Edward," I mouthed silently. The other's saw where I was going with it. Tina erased Edward's memories of joining the Cullen's...and loving me. The sound of pure torture escaped my lips. My Edward was gone because of a girl _Alice _told me to trust...

"Bella, I'm so sorry," Alice apologized.

"Save it," I mumbled, curling in a corner to die.

"Bella please."

"Leave me alone," I cried to myself.

_(Wake me up) Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up) Wake me up inside  
(Save me) call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up) bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up) before I come undone  
(Save me) save me from the nothing I've become_

_

* * *

_

**Ok a little note to one of my reviewers. I can't remember who asked how it was possible Edward's memory is gone (mentioned about an awesome twist is was) Sorry I can't remember your name, please forgive me. But I told you that you'd have to wait a looong time before you found out how Edward lost it. Haha I lied, but in my defense I honestly thought it was later in the story. So...guess what? Now you know. Hehe**

**Please review!**


	3. Who are you?

**Thank you for all the many reviews I am getting. I love every single one I get. 3 I hope you guys are enjoying the fast updates. Sadly it's all I do with my time, but lucky for you. Lol This story was described as very emo-ish and I'll admit I was at the time of writing it. If I were to write it in the mood I am now, this story would probably have a good ending. And who knows, maybe I'll a do an alternate ending, but for now...Enjoy!**

**Song used: Everybody's Fool - Evanescence**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

Nobody talked for hours, maybe they did and I wasn't listening. My eyes were dry from running out of tears. I had hope that I would be able to restore Edward's memory, but now knowing that they were erased completely... What could I do now? Now I simply stared at the ground, watching a little orange spider crawl across the floor. It didn't go very fast, but at least it was going somewhere. Slowly, it moved towards the wall where I sat. It crawled across my foot and continued ever forward.

Suddenly I heard a slam and the spider scurried across the floor at top speed. I looked at the crack where the spider hid, completely shocked at his speed. I heard footsteps and looked up through the bars. Four black cloaked figures walked in. Alec, Jane, Tina, and...Edward.

_perfect by nature  
icons of self indulgence  
just what we all need  
more lies about a world that_

I looked into his eyes and saw a new creature, a monster. His whole face was changed. His jaw was taut, his lips pressed into a permanent grimace, and his eyes...his eyes were monstrous red.

_never was and never will be  
have you no shame don't you see me  
you know you've got everybody fooled_

Jane stopped in front of my door, smiling. "Hello Bella," she taunted.

I hadn't realized that I was now standing by my cell door, too. I took a step back, but Jane grabbed my wrist, holding me there.

"No, I want you to meet someone." She looked back at Edward, signaling for him to come forward. "Bella, meet Edward, prince of the Volturi."

_look here he comes now  
bow down and stare in wonder  
oh how we love you  
no flaws when you're pretending  
but now i know he_

Edward watched me with hunger in his eyes. All that tempted him now was my blood. The human was completely gone from his soul. I couldn't look away from his red eyes. What human did he kill to suffice his thirst? An innocent girl? An unsuspecting old man? I forced myself to blink.

_never was and never will be  
you don't know how you've betrayed me  
and somehow you've got everybody fooled_

Jane chuckled. "I see your shield is back up."

I couldn't stop the relief from washing through me, but now I almost wished she could still hurt me. Physical pain was better than what was consuming me now.

"Get a good look, Bella. Maybe one day I'll let him hunt you. It's what he wants, you know." She leaned closer to me, still holding my wrist. "One day I won't be able to stop him from killing you... So get a good look." She looked down at the dried blood on my hand then slammed my wrist into the bars; I felt it crunch.

With a scream, I pulled it to my chest. Jane laughed as she and Tina left the room. Alec and Edward remained. Edward came close to me, I could honestly say I was afraid.

_without the mask where will you hide  
can't find yourself lost in your lie_

"Isabella..."

I backed away until I felt the other wall.

He was confused. "Why are you afraid of me?"

I glared at him, my tears welling up. "You're a monster. You're the one thing you loathed most. You...killed."

_I know the truth now  
I know who you are  
and I don't love you anymore_

Edward grew angry. "How am I the monster?! I'm a vampire! I need blood to survive!"

I stormed up to him. "You were a vampire before! You refused to kill people! You'd hunt animals instead!" I yelled at him.

Quick as lightning, he reached in and grabbed me by the throat. "Don't yell at me. You know _nothing _of this life! You're a _human," _He spat the last word as if it were an insult, which to me...it was. He released me and I fell to the ground in a heap, crying.

_it never was and never will be  
you don't know how you've betrayed me  
and somehow you've got everybody fooled_

"You're right. I'm a human...with a soul." I still tried to remind him, now more than ever. The longer I waited, the farther he disappeared.

His breathing was deep as he tried to calm knelled down to my level. "Whatever my past life was...it's gone now. This is who I am." he sounded sad at his unknown loss. "Maybe I am a monster," he whispered leaving the room.

_it never was and never will be  
you're not real and you can't save me  
somehow now you're everybody's fool_

Alec watched the exchange between Edward and I silently. Slowly he stepped forward. "Bella, I am so sorry. His mind is that of a newborn. he has no memory of love and compassion. He's just lost."

"And Aro showed him the way?" I glared at him.

Alec sighed, pulling a loaf of bread out. "I know you must be hungry. They're not used to accommodating humans like I am."

I took the bread from his open hands and bit into it. My mouth watered with the delicious flavor. "Where did you get it?" I asked through bites.

He smiled softly. "The market place. Volterra also has humans living in it. They're not all vampires." I took another bite. "Bella, please forget Edward. He's gone." I ignored him. "How about I get Tina to erase your memory, too?"

My heart stopped as I glared at Alec in horror. "What?! No! Don't you dare take my memories from me!"

Alec stood up. "It would be for the best, Bella!"

"To steal the only thing I have left?! Would that be best?!" I screamed. "You don't understand! You don't know what it's like to love someone that doesn't even know you!"

He watched me sadly. "No, I guess I don't, but I'm trying to think of what's best for you."

"I hate you! Leave me alone!" I threw the remainder of the food at him and missed. "Get out and leave my memories alone!" I sobbed.

Alec left with a pained expression.

"Leave my memories alone..." I cried softly. Lose my memories? Is that what Edward wanted? When I left him, did he want to forget me? Maybe it was for the best. Maybe forgetting Edward was the right thing to do. I scowled at my now-broken hand. No, I'd rather than forget my only reason for living.

_somehow now you're everybody's fool..._

_

* * *

_**Flames are not welcome. Angry outrages of "What?! No Edward would never do that!" are permissible. Por favor review, gracias. ^_^**

**Two chapters in one night. I'm tired. Buenas noches.**


	4. This is who I'm seaching for

**Just to let you guys know how pathetic I am, I was reading ahead in this story (I wrote it months ago) to see what was coming bcuz I kinda forgot the details. This one part close to the end literally had _me _teary-eyed. The writer of this story and even I was crying so...good luck to you guys. ^_^**

**Btw, no flames. I'm so happy. That either means my angry Edward didn't even deserve a flame or my readers actually listen to me. Lol**

**Song used: Imaginary - Evanescence**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

I fell asleep. I knew I was dreaming, but honestly how could I not? This place was too perfect. It was the first dream I knew I wouldn't end in screaming. The first dream I've had in a long time. It felt like years since I'd been to this perfect meadow. A whole lifetime ago. This was a time before any troubles were in my mind. My worse fear was getting older. A trifle thing compared to where I was now.

_I linger in the doorway  
Of alarm clock screaming  
Monsters calling my name_

This was my magical place where Edward and I lived in peace. It was his meadow on a rare sunny day. Edward laid on the grassy floor with his shirt unbuttoned. I lay beside him, reveling in the warmth of the sun. We didn't talk, we just enjoyed each others presence. Just the knowledge of having the other beside us, was pure happiness.

_Let me stay  
Where the wind will whisper to me  
Where the raindrops, as they're falling, tell a story_

In my dream, he knew who I was. In my dream, there was no nightmare or chaos. I never said goodbye to him, he never forgot me. It was just another day in our magical summer together. The small breeze blowing, the babbling brook speaking, all the creatures of the forest singing songs of love and happiness.

_In my field of paper flowers  
And candy clouds of lullaby  
I lie inside myself for hours  
And watch my purple sky fly over me_

This was my place. My bubble. No one could hurt me here. This was the place I went to for comfort and safety. When I was here, I was alive. I was myself again. Nothing else mattered except the warmth from the sun.

_Don't say I'm out of touch  
With this rampant chaos - your reality  
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge  
The nightmare I built my own world to escape_

"I love you," Edward whispered in my ear. His breath blowing like the breeze around us.

I smiled against his chest. "Say my name please," I begged. If I couldn't hear the real Edward say it, at least this one could.

Edward lifted my chin up so I was looking into his loving eyes. "Bella," he kissed my forehead. "...Bella," he kissed my eyelids. "....Bella...." his lips lingered over mine, lengthening the moment.

Not wanting to wait, I pressed my lips to his, kissing him softly. "I love you, Edward," i sighed into his mouth.

"Wake up, Isabella," he whispered.

I pulled away confused. He called me Isabella...

_In my field of paper flowers  
And candy clouds of lullaby  
I lie inside myself for hours  
And watch my purple sky fly over me_

"Isabella, wake up." Edward's mouth didn't move with these words.

Suddenly rain started to pour down in our meadow. The beautiful dream already a nightmare as reality struck down like a lightning bolt.

"Open your eyes," he continued.

I did as he said and opened them to look into deep red ones. I cringed away as Edward pulled back.

"Why did you say that?" He asked suddenly.

I scowled at him, irritated that he ruined my bubble. "Why did I say what?"

Edward glared back only not as strong. "You said you loved me."

My heart faltered. "You listened to my dream?"

"Well I wanted to see what interested me so much, but don't change the subject. Why did you say that?"

I moved away from this new Edward. "I was dreaming of a different Edward." Not a lie at all.

Edward narrowed his eyes. "What were you dreaming about?"

I watched him in silence, trying to find a hint of the old Edward. "Do you really want to know?" He nodded slowly. "I was laying in a sunny meadow. The meadow is a beautiful place. It's completely symmetrical, with trees surrounding it, a stream in the distance that you can hear, wild flowers everywhere, and a boy in the middle of it all."

Edward showed no sign of recognition. "Who was the boy?"

I looked away, tears coming again. "He was a distant memory......like me."

_Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming  
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights  
Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming  
The goddess of imaginary light_

"Why do you say that? You're so mysterious," Edward growled, frustrated. "No matter what I say or ask, you always come out more secretive than before. You're a forgotten memory that I have no memory of forgetting." I smiled shakily. "Tell me who you are," he begged.

I opened my mouth, ready to tell him everything, but then I closed it. "It's not my place to remind you of your past. It's for you to discover."

He sighed deeply. "What if I never remember?"

I touched his hand gently. This was the man I fell in love with. The vulnerable, scared, kind Edward. I needed to get him back....somehow.

_In my field of paper flowers  
And candy clouds of lullaby  
I lie inside myself for hours  
And watch my purple sky fly over me_

_

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_

**Sorry it's so short! When I find a good stopping point, I stop. Please review!**


	5. What We Went Through Isn't Enough

**Thanks for being patient with the short chapters and long wait. I was getting over the flu. Here's your next update!**

**Song used: Taking Over Me - Evanescence**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

Edward suddenly looked up as if he'd been called. "I have to go, Isabella." He swept out of the room, locking the door with a loud clang. "I want to hear more about this meadow." I closed my eyes as he left, I couldn't bare to watch him leave. A few minutes passed in silence when I heard another person enter the room. I looked up and saw Alec standing there. He had an apologetic smile and food.

"Alec, I'm sor--"

"Don't even say it. I shouldn't have suggested it. _I'm _sorry." I smiled at him. He was too kind to me. "So I brought food and good news!" He opened the cell door and came in, leaving it wide open. I watched the open door until Alec cleared his throat. I blushed at being caught. Alec laughed. "That's the news I came to tell you!"

My eyes widened as I sat up. "I'm free?"

Alec frowned slightly and I knew I made a mistake. "No, I'm sorry....but you can leave."

I stared at him in confusion. Like parole? Off for good behavior? What was it?

"You're so pale, I thought I'd take you out today," I didn't respond. "Into the sun. Get some fresh air."

Before I knew what I was doing, I threw myself into his arms. "Thank you Alec!" I didn't want to leave Volterra without my family, but I desperately wanted to feel the sun again.

"Jasper? Alice? Aro gave you permission to hunt as long as it's not inside the city walls." Alec continued happily, hugging me around the waist.

Jasper laughed darkly from his cell. "What makes him think we'll come back?"

"They have Bella," Alice whispered.

Alec looked down at his feet ashamed, his arms dropping to his side. I knew that he didn't approve of the Volturi, but this was the only life he knew.

I grabbed his hand reassuringly. "C'mon Alec. Let's go outside!"

His face brightened again. "It'll be just like in Jacksonville."

I nodded, even if I didn't completely agree with him. Some things were different and never could be changed back.

He unlocked Alice's and Jasper's cells and let them out. Jasper immediately ran to Alice and embraced her eagerly. I felt the need to look away as always. Alice came over to me and examined my broken hand. It was swollen and it looked infected, but it didn't hurt. Did Jane sever a nerve when she crushed it?

Jasper followed behind Alice. "I've kept you from feeling it. You'd be in tears if I removed my power."

I looked back curiously at my hand. "I'll take her to the doctor while we're out," Alec assured him.

I saw Alice and Jasper for the first time since we came here, I mean really looked at them. Alice's features were rough, her eyes were a dark black and hungry, her hair was sticking out in every direction with dirt caked into it, her clothes were covered in the same. Jasper was worse, I saw savage in his hungry eyes. I unconsciously slid farther behind Alec, pulling him towards the door.

He understood my eagerness to leave. "Hey Bella, while you're at the hospital, would you mind if I went hunting with them?"

Jasper and Alice looked genuinely shocked. I only smiled. "You mean that you're still doing that?"

He beamed proudly, standing taller. "Of course! I haven't had a single human since before Jacksonville. My eyes are lightening up!" The other two were quiet during this exchange. "C'mon," Alec pulled up out of the room and into the hallway. He took many sure turns before coming to a large metal door. Alec handed everyone dark cloaks to cover themselves, including me. We pulled the hoods up and entered the world. Alice and Jasper left to hunt while Alec dropped me off at the hospital.

"I'll be back later." I nodded silently as Jasper's medication faded, the pain was nearly unbearable.

I headed inside alone, hugging my hand to my chest. Suddenly I felt a cold hand on the small of my back. I turned around and instantly recognized him. "Edward, why are you here?"

He smiled crookedly, almost stopping my heart. "I'm taking you to the doctor," he replied simply. I only stared at him in shock, baffled. With a chuckle, he lifted me off the ground and started walking towards the receptionist.

"Put me down!" I fussed.

His grip only tightened on me. "Don't you want me to carry you?"

I growled. "I can walk on my own, thank you."

He put me on the ground and I swayed slightly. "Can I help you?" the lady asked in a thick accent.

Edward pointed to my hand. "She needs medical attention immediately."

The lady saw my swollen, purple hand and sent me to a room; Edward followed.

_you don't remember me but I remember you  
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you_

"They may have to take my blood. You can't be in here," I told him stubbornly.

He shrugged. "I'll hold my breath. You're blood doesn't tempt me any more than another."

I knew he was lying to me the way he pressed himself against the wall. "So it wouldn't bother you if I accidentally...cut myself?" I asked teasingly.

He grimaced at the thought. "It would still bother me. It's blood."

"You're a rotten liar, Edward!" I accused him, angrily.

_but who can decide what they dream  
and dream I do..._

He stayed silent and guarded.

"I'm like a drug to you," I stepped closer to him seducingly. "I'm like you're own personal brand of heroin. My blood calls to you...doesn't it?" I was inches from his stiff body. Our breathing on the same tempo.

"How would you know that?" He asked quietly.

_I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
you're taking over me_

I watched his guarded eyes for a breathless second then sighed, stepping away. "You told me," I whispered.

We waited in silence for the doctor to come in. After thirty minutes, the pain wasn't that bad and easily ignored. Edward picked up an outdated medical journal, he flipped through it absentmindedly when suddenly his fingers froze over a page. I watched his wide, curious eyes as they moved across the page multiple times.

"Isabella?" He handed me the paper and pointed to an article. "Who is this?"

I looked at the familiar blond doctor. "It's Carlisle," I couldn't help smiling sadly with his name. I missed him so much. I missed everyone.

"It says Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Is that who you were talking about?" He asked warily. I nodded, watching him think. "But his eyes are golden," he said. I nodded again.

"Edward, he's the doctor that adopted you. He changed you in 1918." How many ways did I have to say it for him to understand?

_have you forgotten all I know  
and all we had?_

Edward's eyes seemed to darker. "How is that even possible? They must be colored contacts." I shook my head. "But how can he be a doctor if he's a vampire? He's a monster like me!"

I walked over to Edward, he was crushing the magazine in his angry fists. "Not all vampires are monsters, Edward. Look at Alice and Jasper," I pointed out. "They're not monsters and neither were you," I whispered the past tense.

His fists loosened and I took the magazine away, flattening Carlisle's picture. "He's not a monster," I looked into Edward's eyes.

_you saw me mourning my love for you  
and touched my hand_

"Hello Miss Swan," the doctor entered the room, looking at my fill-out form. I moved away from Edward and back to the seat. "It says here you have a broken hand?"

I lifted my arm limply to show him, still watching Edward.

He tsked, examining it carefully. "How long ago did this happen?"

I didn't have an answer. I didn't have any indication of time while in that cell, but I couldn't tell him that.

"Three days ago," Edward told him.

The doctor showed great disapproval. "Why didn't you come in when it first happened?"

Edward was at a loss for words, he wasn't used to lying as a cover story like the other Cullen's. "We were on a camping trip way out in the mountains. I tripped and fell...against a rock. We've been driving the entire time to get here." I said smoothly.

The doctor looked at Edward and he nodded in agreement, looking at the ground.

"I'm very clumsy," I eyed Edward but he didn't look at me. "I'll trip over almost any flat surface." I continued to try, but Edward didn't remember.

_I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
you're taking over me_

"Well I'm afraid it's infected as well as broken. You could get very sick from this. I'll have to hold you here overnight." The doctor continued his examination.

I turned to the Volturi member with a glare as I waited for permission to stay. Edward finally looked up out of thought. "That's fine, we'll stay as long as you need."

The doctor nodded, unaware of the control Edward had over me. "Come with me, Miss Swan, and we'll get some x-rays and blood samples." He turned to face Edward. "You can wait here, if you like."

Edward sat down and picked the magazine back up. I left with the doctor to take care of my hand.

--

After three hours of tests, I had a cast and medication, and was hooked up to a bed for the night.

"I informed Aro of your situation and was ordered to stay with you." Edward said flatly, formally.

"Great," I mumbled drowsily.

"Bella!" Alice burst through the door. "I heard you're to stay here all night. Is everything okay?"

I smiled extra wide. "Yes. I'm fine. It's only a precaution. I'll be back in my cell by tomorrow," I said sarcastically.

Jasper and Alec stood in the back. I noticed Edward looking at their eyes. Alec's definitely looked brighter.

"See Edward?" I whispered to him. He looked away angrily.

"I found a puma," Alec stated proudly.

"I've heard mountain lions are the best." I watched Edward as I said it.

Nothing on his face showed recognition.

Alice sighed sadly. "Bella...please." We shared a pained expression. She was worried about me, I knew that, but I had to try. I wiped away any tears threatening to fall.

Edward looked at Alice curiously, reading something in her mind. Possibly a memory of him.

_I look in the mirror and see your face  
if I look deep enough  
so many things inside that are just like you are taking over_

"I talked to Aro and he said these two have to go back to their cells." Edward told Alec.

Alec bowed his head sadly. "I'm sorry we didn't get our day like we wanted," he apologized to me.

"It's okay, I just want to sleep." The medication was taking its affect on me.

Everybody left silently, leaving me and Edward alone again. "Sleep well, Isabella. I'm here." He tried to soothe me, but I didn't know why. I was fine.

I fell back into my magical meadow dream. Just me and Edward, together. The sun was back and Edward's loving smile flashed at me. His eyes were back to the beautiful topaz and they shined with happiness.

"Bella, why are you crying?" He asked, concern filling his eyes.

I reached up and touched my wet cheek. "I'm just so happy to be here with you."

He smiled happily, wiping my tears away. "I love you, Bella." I melted into his lips as he kissed me. There was no way I'd be able to forget Edward when I kept having dreams like this. I didn't care what happened in the rest of the world as long as I had my meadow dreams.

"How's she doing?" I heard a voice in the distance.

"Why do you want to know?" Edward asked irritated.

"I care about her. We've been through a lot together," Alec told him passively.

I sighed as I stood up, leaving my dream Edward behind.

"Well apparently I've been through more with her," Edward raised his voice.

"Yeah as if you remember any of it!" Alec snapped.

I groaned, opening my eyes. "Please, stop fighting. There's no reason for it."

Edward swept to my side as I spoke. "Alec, please leave." Edward ordered.

Alec glared at Edward, but finally left us. I turned to Edward, ready to yell at him for being mean, but his proximity caught me off guard. He stared down at me silently, almost lovingly.

"Is that the meadow you were talking about?" He asked.

My breathing hitched nervously. "What do you mean?"

"Your shield weakened when they gave you drugs. I saw glimpses in your mind, plus the talking..."

He read my mind? He saw the meadow. "Edward...how much did you see?" I asked hesitantly.

His eyes were deep in thought, like a battle was raging inside of him; I saw this same look when he first kissed me. He got closer to me, never taking his eyes off mine.

"Edward, you don't understand."

He came closer and my heart sped up.

"Edward, don't---"

His lips stopped my train of thought on contact. He was very guarded at first, but as I deepened the kiss, he too forgot everything. It was just like the old Edward with less worry. This Edward saw my dream where we kissed like that, but he doesn't remember how long it took to get to that level of control. He didn't understand.

_have you forgotten all I know  
and all we had?  
you saw me mourning my love for you  
and touched my hand  
I knew you loved me then_

This thought made me pull away for the first time. "Edward...don't."

Edward watched me war with myself. "Why not?" He leaned forward to kiss me again, but I turned my head. He looked confused. "But it's what you want."

I closed my eyes. "No, it isn't. If you had looked at the Edward I was with in the meadow, you would know that."

Edward was quiet for the longest time. "Was that how I used to be?" He whispered. "The golden eyes, like Carlisle?"

I refused to look into his crimson eyes. "It's not too late," I quoted him in a whisper.

He shoved away from the bed. "Yes, it is! Can't you see? Just accept the new me!"

I grew angry and tears welled in my eyes. "I'll never accept the new you! I don't love you, Edward!" The tears fell down my cheek. "...Not anymore," I whispered.

Edward stood, frozen by the wall. "You fell in love with me before, you can do it again. Why don't you love me now?" He was controlling his voice, but I heard slight anger underneath.

I forced myself to look him in the eyes. "I used to tell you that you weren't a monster. That you had a soul, like me. ....Now I don't believe it anymore."

_I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
you're taking over me_

Edward didn't move a muscle as he stared at me. "You think I'm a monster?" The anger growing in his eyes the longer I remained silent. "Well let's see how much of a monster you think I am when you're one too!" Everything slowed down as Edward sped towards me. He was going to bite me! I couldn't run, I was strapped to a hospital bed.

"No!" Alec burst through the door with Alice. She rammed into Edward, standing between him and me. Suddenly Edward's face went blank, Alec had numbed his senses.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked shakily.

I only watched Edward with frightened eyes, I couldn't speak.

"Come on Bella, let's go." Alice lifted me from the bed and Alec took me in his arms.

"I'll take care of Edward," Alice assured us. I was worried about leaving anyone alone with him. This wasn't a rational, caring Edward; this was the monster.

Alec pulled me out of the room silently.

_taking over me  
taking over me  
you're taking over me  
taking over me_


	6. Wounded Soldier

**Thanks for the reviews. I personally think this is one of the saddest parts in this story. Mostly thanks to the song playing while writing it. Please review this short chapter and tell me what you think. It means a lot to me.**

**Song used: Sound the Bugle - Bryan Adams (author note: readers, please. Do whatever you can to find this song. You must listen to this song during this chapter. It's what brings this chapter together so beautifully. For me, please listen to this song while reading. Let me know what you think in your reviews, please. Now I'm very picky about this chapter. Don't start listening to the song until Bella runs to her cell. You'll know the part I'm talking about. I'm telling you, it makes it perfect for me. Please just humor me this once and after that I'll leave you alone.)**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

We got to the Volturi visitor entrance because it was closest. "Bella, I'm so sorry I left you alone with him. I didn't think he'd do anything."

"Take me to Aro," I said flatly.

Alec blanched. "What? Are you crazy?"

I leveled my gaze with him. "I want to see Aro."

He searched my face before sighing. "If you know what you're doing..." he muttered. He took a different route and finally came to a large door. "Do you want me to come with you?"

I shook my head and he opened the door for me. I hesitantly walked into the large round room where three old vampires sat. I recognized Caius but the other two were unknown.

"Ah Isabella! What a pleasant surprise!" The dark haired one exclaimed. I stared at him curiously. "Oh do forgive my manners, I'm Aro. You already know my brother Caius and this is Marcus." Aro gestured to the others. "What can I do for you?"

I squared my shoulders when Caius grinned. "You sick basterd!" I hissed at him.

That only made him grin more.

"Now now, Bella. We are all friends here," Aro scolded.

I turned my glare on him. "Why?" I asked simply.

He cocked his head to the side. "More specific, please?"

"What good came of me leaving Edward? Why make him forget me? Why turn him into the monster he is now?" I ranted.

Caius laughed. "Why would we tell you? You're a human!"

"I know. Something I'm continually reminded of, thank you." I clenched my teeth.

"Bella, you've seen Edward's gift. It's precious. We needed his power. You simply got in the way." Aro smiled innocently.

"So why not just kill me?" I turned my question around.

Aro smiled wider. "Caius suggested that, but then Marcus kindly reminded me of your...relationship with the Cullen's. You proved very helpful in leading Alice here, too. She'll make a wonderful addition!" Aro seemed elated at the thought.

"Alice will never join you!" I spat.

Caius laughed. "Neither would Edward...but you can see how well that turned out."

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came. He was right. "What do you have planned for Jasper?" I whispered, losing my will to continue this.

Aro sat back down in his throne, tired of the conversation. "We'll dispose of him when the time comes. Don't fret, Isabella, with Alec's help, it'll be painless."

I choked out a gasp at Alec's name. He was going to help kill Jasper? He wouldn't...would he? After all, he _was _still a Volturi member. "No," I whispered hopelessly.

Caius snapped his finger's. "Felix!" A tall, muscular vampire came in, ready to be given orders.

He saw me and grinned. "Is this all Heidi brought in?" I glared at him darkly.

Aro glowered at Felix. "She's not food, she's our guest, and she won't be stuck in that cell any longer." He eyed Caius.

I stared in horror at him, he was going to kill me.

Aro stood up and walked towards me with a smile. "You have free range of our castle. You may go wherever you please." Caius was seething in the background, but Aro ignored him. "I want you to be happy here, Bella. It's your home now." I looked down sadly. "You may also go outdoors. I know how you humans love the sun." He smiled, returning to his seat.

Felix barred his teeth at me as I silently left. That did _not _go as planned. I was wanting answers, which I got, but then Aro frees me? It made no sense...

Alec was waiting for me in the hallway. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Seeing Alec reminded me of Aro's words _"with Alec's help..."_ I sped past Alec angrily.

"Bella?"

I ran faster towards my cell. Even if I had free range, I wanted my safe room again. My bubble. I ran in, crying.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Alice asked. "You went to Aro...why?"

I ignored her, closing my eyes. I wanted to forget the world. I wanted to fade into nothing. Nothing was good. It was innocent. It was simple. That's all I wanted: simplicity. I don't even think I wanted the old Edward anymore. He was gone anyway. This new one in his place was here to stay. Mine was gone. Gone forever.

_Sound the bugle now - play it just for me  
As the seasons change - remember how I used to be  
Now I can't go on - I can't even start  
I've got nothing left - just an empty heart_

I felt my hope trickle slowly from my very core. After it left, I felt cold. My soul was nonexistent now. I had no more reason to live. Hope, love, laughter, joy...these things I didn't know anymore. They faded into memories, like my Edward. Even I was fading into a memory. The old me was gone.

_I'm a soldier - wounded so I must give up the fight  
There's nothing more for me - lead me away...  
Or leave me lying here_

The old me was gone...

"Bella, please talk to us," Alice whispered.

I moved away from the wall. Bella was no longer here. I used to be a different person. I used to be happy and in love. I'd give anything to have that Bella back again. I stopped fighting for Edward, I was fighting to save me now.

_Sound the bugle now - tell them I don't care  
There's not a road I know - that leads to anywhere  
Without a light I feel that I will - stumble in the dark  
Lay right down - decide not to go on_

Everything I knew and loved was gone; I was the only thing left. I felt empty and dead. That's what I wanted, death. Death was peaceful. I could join my Edward forever, in death. This Edward didn't know what love was. He knew power and possessions, but nothing of love. Alice was right all along. Edward was dead, I was only hurting myself more.

_Then from on high - somewhere in the distance  
There's a voice that calls - remember who you are  
If you lose yourself - your courage soon will follow_

I could have just left this Edward alone, but I _knew_......I hoped... Now I was broken. Now I only waited for death to seal my fate. Inside, I already was, but my body continued to writhe in the agony of life.

"Bella, don't give up..." Alice whispered. "Please...don't give up. You still have life in you...don't kill it, too."

I wiped the tears from my eyes as Alice cried.

"You can't give up, Bella. Not yet. Stay alive for me... I love you. You're my sister, I can't stand to see you die inside. Please don't ask me to watch," she cried brokenly.

My battle was done though. I lost. I had no more reason to live. _I _was done.

"Bella, don't stop fighting," Jasper spoke softly. His voice held all the pain I was feeling inside. "I know what you're feeling, but you still have love. That will never leave you," he spoke with confidence. "And neither will we."

_So be strong tonight - remember who you are  
You're a soldier now - fighting in a battle  
To be free once more - that's worth fighting for_

I laid in my corner, my last tears falling to the ground. The world around me faded into the distance...


	7. Where Have I Been?

**Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate you putting up with me for that last chapter. I promise that was the last time I'll get like that. ;)**

**Song used: nothing. Sorry no song for this short chapter.**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

_(time elapsed.......)_

My body was frail and paperthin, my eyes were murky brown with permanent circles under them, I only ate when it was forced into me by Alec or Edward, my voice was scratchy from lack of use, and I hadn't seen daylight in weeks. Maybe it was months now, I wouldn't know. Time ceased to exist with me. Vampires would come and go daily, but that word meant nothing to me. The only thing that mattered was that I was alive, something I loathed. My blood didn't even tempt the vampires anymore. It was weak and scarce. My legs felt dead due to no movement and exercise. Alec had moved me from the corner to the bed after a long period of time.

My surroundings were silent. Alice and Jasper never talked to me anymore, Alec too. Only Edward would when he'd come. I didn't shy away from him anymore, I _wished _he'd bite me. I knew that if he started, he wouldn't be able to stop. But he didn't try to bite me after the hospital incident. He didn't get angry at me either. I never said anything to get him upset in the first place.

My shield was completely dead, too. Edward could read my mind now, but nothing ever went through it for him to see. Sometimes on my best days, he'd say something that reminded me of my past and he'd see a glimpse of it. From my mind, he'd seen Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme, but only pictures. My mind shielded myself from actual memories. I wouldn't let myself view them. At first, I would, but they would send me into such a spasm of hysteria that Edward would panic. My Edward was gone, but I still hated to see this one suffer.

Through everything, my selflessness survived. I still refused to hurt anyone, with Jasper as an exception. No matter how hard I tried, Jasper still felt my emptiness. Even that was torture to feel.

"Good morning, Alice. How are you today?" My muffled ears heard Jane's voice.

"I know why you came, but I'm not joining you," Alice said calmly.

Jane chuckled. "I thought you'd say that."

For the first time in a while, my heart wrenched as I heard Alice's screams. Jasper roared with fury on the other side of my cell. Through Alice's agonizing cry and Jasper's snarls, I heard Jane's melodic laugh. Alice's screaming got even louder as Jane hurt her more. Suddenly it all stopped, only Alice's quiet sobs were heard.

"Are you sure you don't want to rethink our offer?" Jane asked.

_Silence._

"Answer me!"

Alice screamed out in pain. "No!"

"What?" Jane laughed, disbelieving.

I heard Alice's labored breathing. "Never, Jane. You can torture me all you want, but my answer will not change." Her voice, although broken, sounded strong.

Jane was silent for the longest time. "Hmm." She moved into view of my cell door, looking in on me like a caged animal. "Oh, you're still alive?" She actually sounded shocked.

I didn't answer her, my voice lost, but my eyes wide.

She turned back to Alice's cell with a smile. "Was that a promise?" Alice's screams resumed. "That's good because I could use the practice." Jane's voice sounded happy and childlike. "I wonder how long I can keep this going before you give in." Alice screamed again. "Anyone wanna place bets?" She laughed. Jane walked back to me. "How long do you think I can keep her screaming?" She asked me.

I stared in horror as Jane dragged Alice out of her cell into the middle of the room where Jasper and I could watch. Alice's face was dark and twisted in pain as Jane continued to torture her.

"Stop!" Jasper roared.

Jane turned to Jasper menecingly. "You'll have your turn soon enough," she promised.

On shaky legs, I ran to Alice's side. They didn't bother to lock my door anymore. Alice clinged to my body, weakly. "Bella, go."

I held onto her tightly, glaring at Jane. "L-leave her alo-one!" My voice was rough and nearly inaudible, but Jane heard me.

"She hasn't given up yet, has she?" Jane taunted. "Or maybe you just felt left out." She glared at me, but then a look of shock crossed it.

I knew then that my shield was back up. Jane grew angrier, turning her fury on Alice. I grasped Alice's arms as hard as I could, holding her. She stayed in a heap at my side, crying. No new pain like I knew she should be feeling; Alice realized it too. While I held onto Alice, my shield expanded to her.

Jane paused for a split second before she got an idea. Alice screamed out as if Jane had hurt her again. "No! Leave him alone!" She screamed.

Jane glared at Jasper suddenly and he fell to the floor. She was hurting him, but he didn't cry out. He laid in agony, not revealing the true pain both of us knew he was feeling.

Alice screamed for him. "Stop! You win..."

Jane turned back to face Alice.

Alice stood up morosely, dropping my hands. "I'll go with you......just stop hurting Jasper."

"No Alice, don't do it!" Jasper yelled at her.

She looked into his horror-stricken eyes, her own empty. "I have to, Jasper. You'd do the same for me."

He was silent, he couldn't deny it.

Jane walked to the door, triumphantly. "Come Alice, Aro will be pleased to see you."

Alice gave me one last look before leaving with Jane. I was frozen on the ground where Alice just was. Jasper was pressed against the cell door, completely lost. Alice gave up her freedom to save Jasper. She took the pain, but as soon as it turned on Jasper, she gave in. She did it for love. For her Jasper.

I stood up as soon as Alec came in. His mouth opened in shock at seeing me. "Bella, are you okay?"

I glared at him, letting all my emotions out of the drawer. "Why is that the only question everyone seems to know? This is the second time you weren't there when I needed you! First with Adam and now with Alice!" I screamed, running out of the room on my weak legs.

He didn't try chasing after me as I headed out into the sunlit streets. I stumbled around the streets, unuse to the brightness. People stared at me. I must have been a sight to see in my dirty white gown and sunken features. I ran until I found an alley where the sunlight couldn't reach.

I sat down and cried for the first time. I cried loudly, releasing all the pain that was building up inside me. I cried for everything I lost, everything I loved, and everything I once knew. I cried till there was nothing left in me. My chest heaved with the weight of my sorrows.

I felt a tiny finger tap my shoulder and I let out a scream. The little girl screamed too as she fell backwards. I stared at her with blatant shock. as she did the same with me. She looked no older than four, with long curly blond hair and crystal blue eyes. Suddenly she dusted herself and came back over to me. She was talking in some language I didn't know, it seemed she was asking me something.

I stared at her in confusion. "I-I'm sorry, I don't know what you're saying."

She continued to babble, coming closer. I noticed something in her outstretched hand, it was an apple with a tiny bite mark in it. She held her hand closer to me and I took the apple, hesitently. She smiled and clapped her hands, bouncing on the balls of her feet. I looked down at the apple then back to her. She pushed the apple towards my mouth, wanting me to eat it. I took a bite out of the juicy fruit and chewed. The little girl smiled happily. I felt the corners of my mouth turn up in a smile, something I didn't know I could do anymore.

Suddenly I heard a cry of worry come from the entrance to the alleyway. "Isabella!" A woman ran up to us and picked her daughter up. "Isabella, dove sei andata? Ero così preoccupata. Tu non parlare con gli sconosciuti. Te l'ho detto questo un milione di volte. Stai bene? Ti ha ferito?" She saw her daughter's smile and the apple in my hand.

Carefully, I stood up and gave my best apologetic smile I could manage. The little girl whispered something in her mom's ear and the mom smiled, too. I tried to give the apple back, but the mom shook her head. "Please, take it. Avete bisogno più di noi." With a tiny wave from the little girl, Isabella, they left.

I looked back down at the gift, sadly. I had to go back, for Alice and Jasper. I couldn't leave them now. They didn't deserve this fate that I brought on them. I had to get them out.

Slowly I made my way back towards the Volturi castle, apple in hand.


	8. Door Wide Open but Trapped as Ever

**Thanks for the reviews. Sorry for the wait. I wrote this bcuz I.S. Teigen asked me to. I did it for my reader. ^_^**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

"Back so soon? I figured you'd be long gone by now," Felix laughed.

I glared at him darkly. "This is my home, isn't it?" I replied in a dead tone.

He shook his head with a smile on his face. "Edward sure has missed you! He was positively lost without his daily ritual."

I stayed quiet and indifferent.

Felix grinned evilly. "Imagine his look if you wound up dead."

I knew what he meant as he advanced towards me. I backed up to the wall with frightened eyes. If he offered yesterday or even this morning, I would have met him halfway, neck bare, but now I had a mission. I had a reason to live again. I had to save Jasper and Alice.

"F-felix, Aro specifically told you. I'm friend, not food." I laughed nervously.

He continued forward.

"Aro would be very disappointed in you if---" He was so close I could see the hunger in his eyes in the dim lighting.

"That will be all, Felix." Edward spoke from the dark shadows in the hall.

Felix growled deep in his throat. "Fine, but I'd be careful where you leave your toys."

"She's not property to be owned. She's a living, breathing, human." Edward scolded.

"_Human_....when did we start keeping humans as pets?" Felix muttered, walking away.

I breathed a sigh of relief as Edward came closer. "Where did you go? I was worried."

I started walking away in no specific direction. "I thought I wasn't property to be owned."

Edward grabbed me around the waist. I gasped at the sudden contact, we were so close. "I'm sorry... I just meant that I was worried. Yesterday you were dead-weight, suddenly you're gone? I was just...worried."

I remained calm and firm on my thoughts. "I just felt like moving around. It's fine."

He looked into my eyes like he was looking into my soul.......like he used to. "Isabella, what's wrong? What changed?"

It was his red eyes keeping me focused on reality, but everything else urged me towards dream. "You're one of _them._ You can't expect me to share my thoughts with you all the time."

His eyes seemed to harden in anger, but then they melted again with a crooked smile. "You know just the words to get to me. You know me so well, Isabella."

I smirked at him but inside I was spiralling again. "I know you more than you know yourself. You may not even realize all the things but I do." I gave him a half-smile and pulled away. "Goodbye Edward."

He stared down at me sadly. "Your shield is back," he replied flatly.

I chuckled, walking away. "I know. I hope you enjoyed the little insight." I turned around, walking backwards. "Here!" I tossed the red apple at him.

He looked down at it curiously. "A memory!" I called over my shoulder.

Jasper was still frozen by his cell door, pain was the dominant feature.

"Jasper?" I whispered at him, slowly walking closer. He didn't look up. I bent down and touched his cold hand. "Jasper...I'm going to get you out of here."

His eyes met mine angrily. "Why would I want to leave? My Alice is here!" He yelled at me.

I backed away, scared.

"Besides," he sighed. "They'll kill me soon anyway. It's only a matter of time." Suddenly he looked up at me in shock. "You feel hope? My Alice suffers and you feel _hope?!"_ He glared at me with so much hatred, I was worried he'd kill me.

"Jasper, I'm going to save Alice too. If it means I die in the process, I will do everything I can to get you and Alice out." I vowed.

Jasper chuckled emptily. "Alice is gone. Just like Edward...."

I ran out of the room in search of Alec. I had to see if what Jasper was saying is true. I saw someone in the distance and ran to them, my feet smacking loudly against the floor. When I got close, I noticed she was human. She turned around and almost screamed.

"Uh...." I was breathless, not used to exercise.

The lady smiled. "You're a little lost, aren't you?"

"I could ask you the same."

Her laugh was fake. "No, I work here," she paused. "Do you know where you are?"

I ignored her question and asked another one. "Do you know where I can find Alec?"

She frowned slightly, her eyes narrowing a bit. "Are you my replacement?" She asked horrified.

I glared at her, impatiently. "What? No! Where's Alec?"

Her lips remained pressed into a hard line.

"Look, I came in with a couple of v-" I couldn't explain my situation to her. "I live here," I stated simply.

She didn't believe me. "Bella?" Alec called.

I gestured to him with a "told you so" glare. She bowed her head to Alec. "Hello Master Alec."

I rolled my eyes as Alec came closer. He didn't speak to the girl. "Bella, are you o---" he stopped suddenly. "I mean, you were looking for me?"

I hugged him fiercely. "I need to talk to you!" I cried.

He held me gently against his cold body. "Just like in Jacksonville, Bella. You can talk to me," he whispered soothingly.

I pulled away and looked back to the girl who was still standing there. Alec turned to her, annoyed. "You're dismissed." She smiled and walked away.

Alec turned back to me. "Now tell me everything."

We walked down hallways and talked to each other, just like back in Jacksonville. He explained what was happening amongst the Volturi members, and I explained my situation with Jasper and Alice.

"I have to save them, Alec. It's all my fault. Please don't kill Jasper!" I begged.

He blanched. "Kill Jasper, what?"

I stopped walking. "Aro said you would help in killing Jasper, but you can't!"

He looked away sadly. "Aro said that?" I was quiet. "Bella, you have to understand. I don't _like _killing. I hate it, but I can't just disobey Aro. He created me, my sister is here... I can't go against them."

I stared at him, tears welling up inside me. "Why not? There's a life outside of killing. Jasper had it way worse than you, but he left. He found peace and hope in a very tiny vampire. Don't take that away from him, please." I cried brokenly.

Alec hugged me close. "I'll try everything I can to get them to release Jasper."

I shook my head. "What's life when your existence is trapped? I would have run a long time ago, but there's no life for me out there." I replied morosely, walking away from him.


	9. Memories aren't an Escape but a Prison

**Did ppl review? ...I can't remember. It must have not been a lot or maybe no ones reviews really popped out of the "great chapter update" group. lol Sorry, I felt like being a bitch. *ahem* Now onto the chapter.**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

I walked alone through the halls and tunnels of the castle. The lights were very dim, but I was used to it. I didn't trip any more than I usually did. Being alone gave me time to think about a plan. Alec wouldn't help me so I was on my own ...unless Edward would help. No, I couldn't trust anybody, especially a moody mind reader.

My arms unconciously wrapped around my torso to keep me together while I thought.

I had to think of a way to get Jasper and Alice away from Volterra. Even though Alec wouldn't help free them, he did give me insider information on the Volturi members. If my plan worked, Alice and Jasper could live in peace, but in order to do that, I'd have to kill Demetri, the tracker. Even if they got out, Demetri could track them down and kill them. He had to go. Alec said he might be able to set Jasper free, so then all I had left was Alice. I had a plan already set for Demetri, now how to get Alice back?

"Isabella?"

Startled, I turned to face Edward. "What?"

He came closer and I saw the sadness in his eyes. My heart faltered in worry; my mind instantly jumping to Alice. "I know you said I had to figure it out myself, but I was wondering if you could tell me about the Cullen's." I stared at him curiously. "And maybe go for a walk?" He held his arm out for me to take, his smile open and friendly. Hesitently I put my hand in his. His eyes lit up like his smile.

"Who do you want to know about?" I asked carefully.

He thought about it as we walked. "Start with the leader and move down from there."

I sighed sadly. "It's not an army, Edward. They're a family that _chose _to live together."

"Like humans?"

I nodded. "Very much like humans. Carlisle and Esme are like the parents. You already know about Carlisle being a doctor, but did you know he used to stay here? He was close friends with Aro, Caius, and Marcus."

Edward was a little shocked. "Why didn't he stay?"

I laughed briefly. "Carlisle doesn't agree with how the Volturi live.....neither did you," I whispered the last part.

Edward looked away. I choked back the sadness and continued. "Anyway, they all live together in a big house in the Pacific Northwest. Esme is the heart of the family. She is such a caring, loving, compassionate person that you could never hurt."

Edward smiled. "Was she the light brown hair and sweet smile?"

I nodded. "Yes, you were her first son."

Edward looked down at me sadly. "Who else?"

"In order of when they joined the family, Rosalie is next. She's the beautiful blonde one," I reminded him.

He chuckled. "She looked very conceited from that one image I saw."

I laughed with him. "She's just highly aware of how great she looks, but she's also very protective of her family. Not to mention her love for fast cars."

He smiled. "She sounds like a lot of fun."

I choked on my laughter when he said that. "Are you kidding?! You guys are constantly butting heads and bickering!"

He grimaced. "So we fight?"

"No, just the usual sibling arguments."

"Sibling...." he played with the word silently.

"Emmett came a year later. Rosalie saved him."

"He's the big one, right?"

I nodded. "That's right. He's the immature jokester that is always smiling. He also has a thing against grizzlies," I laughed.

Edward's eyebrows raised a fraction.

I shook my head. "Long story," I dismissed it.

We continued walking in silence as Edward was deep in thought. "What about the two that came with you?" He asked softly.

I looked down so he wouldn't see my tears. "Jasper is the quiet type. He always had a difficulty staying near me so I don't know much about him, but Alice....." I wiped a tear away. "Alice is a too hyper, annoying, know-it-all, shopoholic---" my voice broke. "....she's my best friend," I whispered.

Edward enveloped me in a hug, trying to sooth me. I was highly aware of reality, but that's what dreams were for, to escape it. I knew Edward didn't completely understand, but that didn't change the way it felt to be in his arms again. To have his arms embracing me again.....it was a dream.

"I thought you had forgotten human reactions," I mumbled to myself.

He pulled away slightly with a smile. "It's definately resurfacing."

The wind flew out of me at that comment. Those were his exact words back when he took me to the meadow. It almost seemed like a part of him _did _remember, but he himself couldn't.

"I've said that before?" He asked, concerned at my reaction.


	10. Do You Regret like I Don't?

**The reason I haven't been updating my story a lot (more like at all) is bcuz it's a sad story. Depressing. I wrote it when I was depressed. Now I'm happy and my life is amazingly great and the last thing I want to do is type up a story that reminds me of my emo past life. It makes me depressed again and my boyfriend (-- reason for happiness) has a hard time making me happy again. lol But bcuz a special fan wants to see this story finished, I'm doing it for them. And besides my boyfriend is gone for the weekend so I'll try to finish this story by the time he comes back. ^_^ read it and weep.**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

"I've said that before?" He asked, concerned at my reaction.

I stared at him confused. I know I didn't say that out loud.

"Your sheild flickered for a second," he explained quickly not wanting to get off the subject.

"Nothing, forget about it. I have to go." I turned around ready to leave.

He grabbed my wrist before I could run. "Isabella, please speak to me."

I looked up into his worried...red eyes. Reality crashed around me in those red eyes. "It's nothing. Just memories."

Edward still hadn't released me yet. "You and I seem to share the same memories so start sharing." His commanding voice brought my defensive side out.

I leveled my glare at him. "They're my memories to keep." His hand tightened around my wrist. "Ow! Let me go!" I started panicking. I couldn't afford to die yet.

Suddenly, he stepped back as if I had electrocuted him. "I wasn't going to kill you," he said darkly.

"You have a temper, Edward Cullen. Especially now when you have no morals stopping you!"

He hissed at me, anger filling his body and pouring out of his eyes. My eyes widened in fear. He wasn't the vampire I fell in love with. He didn't love me like he used to either. If I angered him enough, nothing was stopping him from killing me. It wasn't the lion and lamb anymore; it was the monster and weak human.

He must have heard me again and grew sad. I saw hurt in his eyes, almost as much when I told him I didn't love him. "I wasn't going to kill you," he whispered, running away.

I turned to walk the opposite direction of the long dank hallway. I did it again. I hurt him. I walked the length of the narrow hallway, keeping my head down watching my feet.

"Bella!"

I looked up to see Alec and Alice. "Alice!" I breathed, hugging her. Automatically her arms wrapped around me. "Alice I missed you so much! I was worried they'd erase your memory too!" I cried.

"It's okay Bella. I'm here now," she soothed.

"Thank you Alec." I hugged him too. I turned back to Alice excitedly. "Alice I'm going to save you! I have a plan and I---"

Alice covered my mouth nervously. "Shhh! Don't tell me! Aro sees everything in my mind, remember? There are no secrets like I can with Edward."

I nodded silently in understanding.

"Bella, we have to go. I just wanted you to see Alice even if for only a moment." Alec apologized.

I nodded sadly. "I'll see you soon, Alice." I hugged her again.

She hugged me tightly. "Don't worry about me. It's Jasper that needs you now. I need you to take care of Jasper for me." She whispered. I nodded slightly, giving her my promise.

I watched as she and Alec disappeared into the darkness, leaving me alone. I sat down on the cold floor and curled up. This would be my last moment alone I'd have. Starting tomorrow, I had to save my family.

First, I had to get rid of Demitri. That might be hard considering I've never seen him. Felix, I'd seen more times than I'd like, but I had no idea about Demitri. I needed to provoke him somehow, something to really get his hungry side out. Even though I don't know what he looks like, I know what he is. A vampire. Suddenly Jane's words flashed in my head. _"I bet if you simply cut your finger, he'd kill you. You'd be dead before I even had a chance to say 'I told you so'." _If I had Edward close enough when I bled, Demitri wouldn't be able to get to me before Edward ripped him apart. But what if Edward attacked me first? Could I trust this new him? After all, he was a traditional vampire now. Edward's eyes showed that he recently ate so there's a good chance he'd be full. But the same could apply to Demitri.

I groaned in frustration, holding my head. I was just going in circles with this.

"Problem?"

I looked up, startled. "Nothing I can share with you."

Edward sat down next to me. "I'm sorry about hurting you earlier," he apologized.

I frowned. "I didn't mean what I said, Edward. _I'm _sorry."

He ducked his head, smiling. "I decided that I need to have better control of my temper. You're right, it was wrong of me to command you that way."

"I accept your apology."

He gently picked up my hand and examined it. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

I shook my head, watching his perfect face. "No, you didn't hurt me."

Edward looked relieved. "I was afraid I hurt your wrist again. I didn't know if it would still be fragile after all those months."

I blanched. "All...those...months? H-how long has it been?" I whispered.

Edward watched me with worried eyes. "Isabella, you were in that cell for almost seven months. Today is the 25th of May."

I looked down, shocked. I'd been missing for seven months. Renee must think I'm dead by now. The last time I saw her was when Adam died. She was freaking out because I went crazy. Her last memories of me were nightmares. A single tear fell down my cheek.

Edward caught it before it dropped. "Don't cry, Isabella. Your mother will only remember the good times."

I stared up at him, wiping my eyes. "How---"

"I've discovered that everytime a strong emotion surges through you, your sheild weakens," he explained.

I looked down again, filing that away in my mind. I had to keep my emotions under control.

"But when you're happy, your shield is back up. It must only be emotions."

"Like my depression, my fear, and anger." I half-smiled. "Maybe that's why you never were able to read my mind." His head cocked to the side. "I was always happy with you."

He smiled too. His eyes were soft as he leaned forward. I was frozen, unsure what to do. I didn't want to lead him on, but I'd never love him. My heart was with the old Edward. Closer he came, gaging my reaction. With one last thought, I pulled away.

"Edward, I don't know if that's such a good idea." I closed my eyes.

He sighed sadly. "I understand. I'm sorry." We both sat in silence, a sadness enveloping us. "Isabella, is there no hope for us?"

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly.

He looked into my eyes. "You won't love me," he stated, not as a question but a fact.

"No, I won't," I whispered.

"We had a life....before." I nodded silently to his question. "When you came here, saying you came to save me... Why were we seperated in the first place?"

I looked away immediately. This was the one subject I hoped never to return to. It was all my fault all of this happened.

"It wasn't your fault," Edward comforted me. "I'm sure of it."

I shook my head fiercely. "It _is _my fault. It's all my fault you came here, it's my fault Adam died, it's my fault your family is suffering.......but I did it for a good reason." Silent tears fell. As much as I hated to admit it, I'd do it all over again. I knew Edward was reading my thoughts the way he stayed silent and listening.

"What was the reason?" He was curious enough to ask.

Finally raising my eyes to meet his, letting all the love and adoration and sacrifice spill into them; I showed him the feelings I kept inside all these months.

"You did all that for me.....and then you find out I don't even remember who you are." I watched as the anger and disgust in himself rose. His eyes growing darker with each passing second.

"Edward, it's _definately _not your fault. You had no say in the matter."

"But how can all my memories of life, family...and love...be gone? It's not fair that I was stripped of everything that has made me who I am...or at least used to be."

I pressed my shaking hand to his clenched jaw. "I'm sorry, Edward. I should have never left you, but...."

He turned quickly. "You left?"

I recoiled automatically. "Y-yes."

"So you didn't love me."

My mouth dropped. "What? No! Edward, I loved you! I did it out of love!"

He scoffed. "That makes no sense. When you love someone, you stay together."

"But your life was in danger!"

"Then we'd fight together!" We were both facing each other, seething.

I sighed, backing off. "You would have done the same for me."

He was deathly quiet, trying to control his anger. "Goodbye Edward," I walked away, leaving him once again. _I love you..._ I thought back to my old Edward, the way he'd caress my cheek when I blushed, and the look in his eyes when he'd tell me he loved me, or when he played my lullaby... I let the memory of his lullaby sooth me as I walked back to my cell for the night.

Jasper hadn't moved at all. If anything he was worse. He looked as if Alice _had _died.

"Jasper...." I knelt beside his door, looking down at my hands. "I wanted to apologize." He stayed silent, dead. "I'm sorry for bringing you and Alice into my troubles. When I left.....I did it for love. I did it to save Edward. I had no idea any of this would happen. I didn't mean for Alice and you to suffer."

He finally blinked, looking down at me. There was no anger, hopelessness removed all emotions like it did with me. I knew what he was going through and it pained me.

"Don't punish yourself for my mistakes," I concluded.

He didn't reply, but the look we shared said enough. Quietly I left him and went to my cell to sleep.


	11. Will it be in Vain?

**A fan asked me what happened to Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett. Why aren't they coming or getting suspicious? My response: O_O oh my god you're right! I forgot about them! I never thought about it! Can we pretend....they disappeared? lol Sorry they don't show up in the story, I completely forgot them and I'm ashamed. So sorry.  
I also am considering an Edward's POV. It's not definate bcuz that would mean starting over with the sad story. :/ But a lot happens in Edward's POV that would make the story better. I have tons of other stories waiting to be posted (summaries on my profile) that I want to post too. Tell me what you want and I will certainly take it into consideration.**

**Anyway...... Get ready people. This is it. read it and weep.**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

That night, I didn't have nightmares or dreams of Edward. No, this night was different. It wasn't a happy ending for me or for Edward, but for Jasper and Alice. I dreamed of them getting away and living together happily. No more evil or sadness, just Jasper and Alice laying under an oak tree together. Both smiling and in love.

When I woke up, I felt more determined than ever to make that dream a reality. Thay _had _to get out or I'd die trying. A part of me knew that I wouldn't make it out of here alive, but it didn't cause any sadness. I was going to die here.

I sat up to see an angry Alice. I jumped slightly at her unexpected entrance. "Bella...." she took a deep breath to control her anger. "Whatever it is...whatever this plan is...don't do it. It won't work."

I rolled my eyes trying to lighten the mood. "What plan?"

Her eyes darkened into something I'd never seen before. "The one that gets you killed."

Having her say it made it more real for me. I stretched my arms and yawned. "You're gonna have to be a bit more specific than that," I joked.

"Bella, you can't destroy Demitri. You don't even know what he looks like. And besides, you're a human."

Ouch, that hurt. I don't care. I can try."

"You can't trust Edward not to attack you. He's not like he used to be."

I knew she was right, but it the only shot I had. It was for her and Jasper. I remained unwavering on my decision. "Alice, just trust me on this."

"Bella---"

"First chance you get...run. I'll get Jasper out, but you have to make it on your own." I told her.

Her eyebrows creased with sadness and worry. "Bella please," she whispered.

"Don't let me die in vain!" I begged her, tears threatening to overflow. "I'm doing this for love. I'm doing it for you."

She pulled me into a hug and cried. "I couldn't have asked for a better friend than you, Bella Swan."

I hugged her back, my tears staining her black cloak. "I love you, Alice. Please tell Esme and the rest that I'm sorry."

She nodded, getting up. "I have to go. Promise me that you'll try to get out. Don't be a hero, Bella." She left in a hurry as to not get caught.

I laid there for a few moments, thinking over my plan. I had to trust Edward to be strong. I hated using him as my murder weapon, but I had no other choice. Slowly I rose from my bed and searched the corner of my cell. When Jasper had banged his fists against the wall, he caused pieces of rock to fall. I found one with a good sharp edge to it and shoved it in my pocket. When I find Edward, I'll have him introduce me to Demitri. Once I get close enough, I'll jab the rock in my arm and cause me to bleed. The rest, I'll leave up to their bloodlust. Then I'll find Alec and get him to release Jasper, who will then run after Alice. As long as they both got out, I'll be happy with whatever comes my way.

Before I put my plan into action, there was something I needed to do. Quietly, I made my way through the now familiar tunnels to the outside world. I bought some paper and a pen and sat down in the sun. Focused, I began to write:

My Dearest Edward,  
I wanted to explain everything to you so that you'll understand. You'll understand why I did what I did. I loved you more than anyone will ever know. You were my world to me, my existance. I left you because my presence was a threat. I was dangerous, as silly as that sounds. I left because I loved you. I knew it would destroy my life, but if it meant you kept on living, I'd sacrifice my life time and time again. Everyday I'd hope and pray that you moved on, unlike me, but deep down I knew it was an impossible task. We belong with each other. You're right. When you love someone, you stay together, but I couldn't continue to endanger you. Even if you don't remember our life together, it did happen. I'm sorry I could never tell you everything. I knew you'd try to recreate my Edward and I didn't want that. I want you to live on, being happy. Just remember the people who loved you.  
I don't want you to blame yourself for my death, as I know it's in your nature to. Again, I did it out of love.  
I love you, Edward. Even death won't stop that. My love will last forever with you. Good bye.  
Bella

I wiped away the tears so they wouldn't smear the ink, then carefully sealed my fate. I'd give it to Alec to deliver to Edward. I sat in the sun, reveling in my last moments. I finally got up and went to face my death as the clock tower struck 11. No one was waiting for me in the entrance hall when I got there. It was deathly quiet, maybe it was always like this... A thick fog-like feeling of doom surrounded me, but I refused to lose my determination. I headed towards Alec's quarters; he'd shown me once where it was. No one was there so I gently placed my envelope addressed to Edward on his shelf. He'd find it and give it to Edward, I hoped. After that, I went to find Edward.

"Edward?" I called hesitently. The fog seemed to almost choke me when I'd open my mouth. "Edward!" I called, my voice echoing through the halls. No answer. I closed my eyes and focused on taking my shield down. When I felt it removed, I called out. _Edward, where are you? I need to talk to you, please..._

"Are you ok, Isabella?" He asked from behind me.

I turned, my shield snapping back into place. "Edward," I sighed. With a deep breath, I started. "I'm...I don't know what to do."

He hugged me as I cried. The tears weren't fake, just mininterpreted. "Isabella, what is it? What's happened?"

I pulled away. "Nothing has happened.....yet." He stayed silent as I continued. "I'm so confused. Now that Alice is one of the Volturi...I want to join her."

Edward's eyes darkened immediately. "You don't want this life."

Even hearing him say it again hurt, but I was getting sidetracked. "I'm a weak human prisoner. Aro said this was my home, I want to be one of you."

Edward seemed hesitent. "Edward, I want to be with you," I said needing to get my plan moving again. He stopped and stared at me. "But I thought...." he faded.

I pulled him closer and kissed him softly on the lips. "Please...."

He slowly wrapped his arms around me, smiling. "You and I can start over,: he mused in the idea.

I nodded with him, feeling horrible for using him like this. This wasn't part of the plan.

"Let's go talk to Aro so he can change you," Edward started pulling me away.

"Wait! I want to meet my soon-to-be fellow vampires." My mouth twisted, realizing it sounded suspicious.

Edward frowned. "Yeah sure...come on." I walked beside him while he thought. "And don't worry, I'll protect you while you're still a weak human." He grinned.

"I'm counting on that," I whispered.

He looked down at me, quietly observing. "Are you sure you want to? Some of their talents are probably frowned upon by the Cullen's."

I gave him my best smile. "I want to meet the ones I hear about. I've yet to meet this...Demitri?"

Edward continued forward. "He's not that friendly. We've yet to get along. Are you sure you want to meet him?"

I nodded, trying not to sound too eager. Edward didn't like him so killing him wouldn't be so bad. My gut twisted in guilt at how my views had changed of life. I knew Demitri didn't deserve this, nobody was to blame except for Aro, Cauis, and Marcus. I needed to be killing them, but I needed to work small, just get Alice and Jasper out. That was my main priority.

We turned a few more corners and came to a door. Edward opened it and entered with me protectively by his side. A small vampire stood in the corner with a book, not moving.

"Demitri." Edward greeted, politely indifferent.

Demitri turned around, grinning. He saw me and smiled wider, hungrily. "Is this a peace offering? I accept." He stepped towards me and Edward growled in warning.

"This is Isabella. She's a guest here."

Secretly and gently, I pulled the stone out of my pocket. "It's nice to meet you, Demitri."

His eyes were a glowing red, that was in my favor. He smiled back. "So you're the delicious guest I've heard so much about."

I gripped the stone in my hand, behind my back. "Does my blood smell good to you, Demitri?" I asked.

"Mouthwatering," he took a step.

"Would you kill for a taste of my blood?" I taunted.

Another step. "Naturally," he grinned.

Edward was shaking in fury at whatever Demitri was thinking.

"Are you thirsty for my blood?" I gripped it tighter behind my back.

"Ravishingly," he took another slow step. "Would you die for my blood?" I asked pulling the stone out and jabbing it into the crease of my elbow.

Hot red blood oozed from the wound, but I didn't feel the pain. It all happened so fast. Demitri jumped towards me, but Edward collided with him. "Run Isabella!!!" Edward roared as he fought with Demitri. I didn't stay to watch Edward finish him off.

I pulled the rock out of my arm and ran towards the cells. "Alec!" I screamed for him. The pain starting to register in my brain, but the adrenaline kept it away. "Alec!" I ran into the room and stopped dead in my tracks. What I saw was not what I had planned at all.....

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**Sorry for the open ending. I had to stop it here otherwise the chapter would have been too long (as if you guys would complain). The songs start back up in the next chapter (the FINAL chapter). Reviews are welcome as long as they don't say "update soon". ^_^ Thank you.**


	12. Servatis a Maleficum

**Sorry for the wait. Enjoy the end if your twisted, hate me if you're normal. :P lol**

**read it and weep. *there is a small epilogue but other than that this story is finished***

**Song(s) used in this chapter: Whisper by Evanescence and My Last Breath by Evanescence.**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

The cell door was open, broken on the hinges. Jasper was out of his cell, but he wouldn't move. He refused to move, but then I saw why. Tina and Jane held Alice by her arms, ready to rip her apart at a moments notice. Alec was beside Jasper, glaring at Jane. I went unnoticed as they continued.

"You betrayed me, Alec." Jane hissed. He didn't respond, he was focused on Alice. "For that, punishment is needed!" Jane glared at Alec and he fell to the ground.

Jasper, teeth barred, jumped for Jane. She turned on him and he lost control of movement, he could only lie in agony.

"Jasper!" Alice screamed for him.

The world slowed down. I felt my feet frozen to the ground as I watched them rip Alice apart. My eyes closed shut and I covered my ears, screaming along with Alice.

_Catch me as I fall_  
_Say you're here and it's all over now_  
_Speaking to the atmosphere_  
_No one's here and I fall into myself_

It was Jacksonville all over again. I stood helpless as my best friend was murdered. I tried to drown out her screams but it echoed in my brain. Make it stop! Make it all stop! This wasn't supposed to happen!

Suddenly they stopped. Everything stopped. I was alone in a darkness. I could no longer hear Alice's screams or even mine; the cold stone floor wasn't beneath me and no nightmare surrounding me. I knew Alec was responsible for this. I wanted to stay here. The bubble. But it wasn't safe anymore. It was a lie. All of it. I was never safe. Not for a minute and my mind knew that. Everything safe in my life was a lie. I couldn't stay in this darkness and hide, I had to save Jasper and Alec. I was afraid to open my eyes. Afraid to see Alice's cold lifeless body on the ground or Jasper's twisted body as he silently suffered.

"Alec stop!" I screamed as loud as I could.

_This truth drives me_  
_Into madness_  
_I know I can stop the pain_  
_If I will it all away_

In a flash, everything was back. I was just in time to see Alec kill Jane despite the pain I knew she was mentally causing him. He killed her fast, no torture; she fell beside Alice's dead body.

"Isabella!" Edward was immediately next to me.

Tina saw him and grinned. Quickly, Edward grabbed me and ran away; Tina gave chase and Edward groaned, slowing to a stop. He dropped me to the ground and stared blankly at Tina. I knew what she was doing and grew angry.

_Don't turn away_  
_(Don't give in to the pain)_  
_Don't try to hide_  
_(Though they're screaming your name)_

"Stop it!" I screamed.

She grinned wider at Edward. I watched as different emotions played across his face: recognition, love, hate, sadness, curiosity... She was going through so many memories and destroying them. Suddenly his expression stopped. He looked down at me and sweeped me off my feet.

"Bella, you came back!" He called me Bella, all his memories were back. He looked down at me with love, just like he used to. "I'm never going to let you go again. I love you."

I felt tears brim my eyes, blinding me. Everything was going to be okay again. Suddenly I remembered Tina standing there and his expression changed again.

"I love you, Tina." He turned to face her, me completely forgotten.

Tina grinned. "Neat, isn't it? I can completely change his memories to where it's me he loves."

Edward then crumpled to the ground.

"I can then make him think he's lost everyone he's ever loved. Well..." she paused thoughtfully. "I guess he did lose everyone." She laughed lightly. "Now watch this!"

He began sobbing in agony.

_Don't close your eyes_  
_(God knows what lies behind them)_  
_Don't turn out the light_  
_(Never sleep never die)_

"Guess what memories I let him keep," the way she smiled at me I knew she meant when I left him. "And then---" She suddenly flew into the wall.

Jasper was glaring at her, teeth barred. "Bella, run! Get out of here!" Jasper yelled at me as he leaped for Tina again. Edward was on the ground, holding his head. I didn't know what Tina did, but he was too messed up. I stepped towards him but Jasper roared. "Bella, get out of here _now_!"

With one last glimpse at my love, I ran. I ran as fast as my shaking legs would carry me. I ran past all the blurry grey walls and cells. The cold, drafty hallways were dark and menacing. My tears blurred my vision more and I tripped over something cold and hard. I tumbled to the ground, hitting my head against the stones. I opened my eyes to see what tripped me.

My scream bubbled out of my chest as I stared into Alice's dead eyes. "Alice," I wispered shakily. "No! No no no no!" I sobbed, holding her in my lap. I was back where I started, outside my cell.

_I'm frightened by what I see_  
_But somehow I know_  
_That there's much more to come_

Suddenly I heard Tina's scream echo through the walls. Gasping, I continued running away from Alice and my nightmares. I wished I was back in my cell; at least I was safe there. I continued running still, looking for an exit or a ray of sunlight coming from the outside world.

Something moved beside me in the blackness. I took in a deep breath, ready to scream, when cold fingers covered my mouth.

"Shh Bella, it's me," Jasper breathed in my ear. He removed his hand and grabbed my arm instead.

Together we ran through the darkness, him guiding me through the turns. Suddenly he stopped and pushed me behind him. I squinted to see what was blocking us. A torch on the wall was lit, revealing three vampires. I recognized Felix among them. Jasper was tense and a whole new person. His face showed that of a furious warrior, a soldier ready to die in battle. I recoiled away from the blood thirsty, red eyes watching me and Jasper.

_Immobilized by my fear_  
_And soon to be_  
_Blinded by tears_  
_I can stop the pain_  
_If I will it all away_

"Bella, when I tell you to...run. Run as fast as you can in the direction we were going, understand?" Jasper's hushed voice in my ear was barely audible; no one else heard him. I nodded wiping away tears. Jasper squeezed my hand gently. "I'm sorry Bella, but you're alone now."

I choked on my sob. "What are you saying?" I didn't want to hear his answer, I was too afraid.

Jasper looked down into my eyes, his burning with sadness and hatred. "Bella, my reason for going on is dead. ...I"m not leaving here alive."

I knew what he was saying, but he didn't understand me. "What makes you think I want to live too? _Edward _is still in there. I can't leave him."

He stared at me for the longest time then finally nodded. "Then go to him," he told me. I backed away from him and the Volturi guards. "Goodbye, Bella," he smiled sadly.

_Fallen angels at my feet_  
_Whispered voices at my ear_  
_Death before my eyes_  
_Lying next to me I fear_

I turned and started running back the way I came.

"Yes, say goodbye, Bella!" Felix roared, ripping a metal bar from the wall. I stared at him in horror as he advanced on me.

"No!" Jasper reached for Felix, but the other two grabbed him and the fight began. Two against one.

Felix lifted the spear-like bar and I screamed as it pierced my skin. With a smile, Felix left me to die slowly as he went to help fight Jasper who had already taken down one of them as more vampires joined in the fight.

_She beckons me_  
_Shall I give in_  
_Upon my end shall I begin_  
_Forsaking all I've fallen for_  
_I rise to meet the end_

I dragged myself away from the vampires, shaking terribly. Once I turned the corner, I put my hand on the bar and a pain jolted through my body. I sucked in a ragged breath and pulled the metal bar out, screaming loudly in pain. It had pierced my stomach, I was bleeding to death.

_Hold on to me love_  
_You know I can't stay long_  
_All I wanted to say was, "I love you and I'm not afraid"_  
_Can you hear me?_  
_Can you feel me in your arms?_

I had to find Edward before it was too late. I grabbed a protruding stone in the wall and pulled myself to my feet. I clenched my teeth to keep from crying. Once I was standing, I leaned against the wall and carefully put one foot in front of another. The cut in my arm had stopped bleeding, but I'd already lost a lot of blood from that.

_Holding my last breath_  
_Safe inside myself_  
_Are all my thoughts of you_  
_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

"Edward?" I choked out.

I put my free hand over my bleeding stomach and continued forward on shaky legs. Slowly I moved farther into the tunnels. The world seemed distant, I could no longer hear the fighting behind me, only my feet and heavy breathing. Each breath was painful. One stone stuck up out of the ground and I fell over, screaming when my stomach twisted. I layed my head against the wall and kept pressure on my wound. Little beads of sweat clung to my face and hair, mixing with my tears.

"Edward," I cried, closing my eyes. "Edward, I need you."

_I'll miss the winter_  
_A world of fragile things_  
_Look for me in the white forest_  
_Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)_

These were my last moments alive. I could allow my roaming memories now. I thought about every touch, every kiss, every night together. I heard footsteps coming my direction in a hurry. I opened my eyes and pressed my back against the wall.

_I know you hear me_  
_I can taste it in your tears_

"Bella?" Edward's voice was far away.

"I'm here!" I couldn't speak any louder than a whisper. A light breeze blew by me when he found me. There was just enough light coming from a crack in the wall to illuminate my surroundings. I tried to stand for me, but I fell down; my energy was drained.

He fell to his knees and looked at me with agonized eyes. "Oh Bella...." his voice was strained when he saw the pool of blood.

_Holding my last breath_  
_Safe inside myself_  
_Are all my thoughts of you_  
_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

I wiped my eyes to see him better. "It's okay, Edward. I'm...fine." I clenched my teeth.

He touched my cheek. "My forgotten memory, my forgotten love," he cried silently.

_Closing your eyes to disappear,_  
_You pray your dreams will leave you here  
__But still you wake and know the truth,_  
_No one is there..._

In a gentle swift movement, he pulled me into his arms and held me, my blood smearing his cloak. "Bella, don't leave me now. Please God, don't leave me," he begged.

I reached up to touch his face. "My Edward," I took in a painful breath. "I love you."

He hugged me closer, the pain in my stomach exploded, but I only wanted closer.

_Say goodnight,_  
_Don't be afraid,_  
_Calling me, calling me as you fade to black_

"Don't go," I whispered. "Don't go yet." I felt the draftiness get colder, I started to shake. "I'm so...cold." Edward sobbed into my hair. "Please....please don't cry, Edward. I want to see you smile."

He tried to show me his crooked smile, but it was twisted in pain. I smiled for him. "You remember me... that's worth smiling for." I closed my eyes. "I love you, Edward."

_(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath_  
_(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself_  
_(Calling me, calling me) Are all my thoughts of you?_  
_Sweet raptured life, it ends here tonight_

He pressed his lips to mine, softly. "I love you, Bella," he whispered to me as I faded into blackness.

The world I was leaving behind was becoming a distant blur and Edward's sobs and pleading disappeared, being replaced by a calmness. My Edward's smile was the last thing my memory saved for me. His beautiful, perfect, happy, loving....crooked smile stayed with me through the ever-growing darkness.

_Holding my last breath_  
_Safe inside myself_  
_Are all my thoughts of you_  
_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_


	13. Yellowed Paper

**EPILOGUE IN EDWARD'S POINT OF VIEW!**

**Song used in this chapter: Haunted by Evanescence.**

**_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."_**

* * *

My life was gone from my eyes. It left me two years ago when she died in my arms. When I first heard her whisper my name in her sleep, I knew I'd spend eternity loving her. I'd protect her from all evils of life. Now she was gone. Ripped from my very soul. I no longer existed. My empty body sat in her cell, damned to this hell for eternity. Instead of spending it with her, I was here. I had no plans to ever leave either.

_Long lost words whisper slowly to me_  
_Still can't find what keeps me here_  
_When all this time I've been so hollow inside_  
_I know you're still there_

When I thought about her enough, it was as if she was here, beside me. I'd feel her sweet breath on my neck and hear her heartbeat, pumping blood to a body that wasn't there. She was gone, but she lived inside of me, through my memories. They were all I had now. Something I went without for a long time was now the only thing keeping me alive. I didn't live by choice, I would have died with her if I had the chance, but the Volturi had a worse punishment for me.

_Watching me, wanting me_  
_I can feel you pull me down_  
_Fearing you, loving you_  
_I won't let you pull me down_

My eyes were the blackest they could go. I couldn't remember the last time I ate. Aro tried to feed me by bringing in a human girl. She had brown hair and brown eyes, like Bella, but she looked nothing like her. That didn't change the fact that I refused to kill her.

_Hunting you, I can smell you - alive_  
_Your heart pounding in my head_

I was weak with hunger and sadness, but I never tried to change. I was becoming a statue, if not already one. I never looked away from the grey wall across from me. There was a tiny reddish brown bloodstain on the wall where Bella had thrown her fist against it. I loved that stain. It was all I had left of her besides my memories. I could see Bella pacing the wall angrily and slamming her fist. _"He's not dead to me! He's not dead to me..." _The image of her faded with her voice. _"He's not dead to me..._

_Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Saving me, raping me, watching me_

"Edward?" I didn't show any sign of hearing. "Edward, it's me, Alec."

I saw his figure by the door from the corner of my eye. I vaguely remembered him leaving two years ago when he killed his sister, Jane. Bella had told him of a life outside of Volterra and he went in search of it.

"I came to give you this." He leaned down and slid an envelope across the floor. It hit my foot and came to a stop.

Alec stood back up. "She wanted you to know the truth."

_Watching me, wanting me_  
_I can feel you pull me down_  
_Fearing you... loving you_  
_I won't let you pull me down_

With that, he left quietly unseen. I looked down at the yellowed paper and picked it up. Bella's presence was there beside me, giving me warmth as I opened the letter.


	14. Go Home

**Ok to all the readers. Listen and listen well. That was the end of this story. I decided I don't want to do a threequal whatever thing. I clicked the "complete" button. It's over. Go home.**

**For those of you that didn't understand what happened in the story, here's in short:**

**Edward killed Demitri, Jasper killed Tina, Alec killed Jane, Jane and Tina killed Alice, and Felix killed Bella. The only survivors (of the good guys) were Edward and Alec. The Cullen's recieve news from Alec of what happened. Renee and Charlie are sadly told from the institution that Bella died of...something with a big name (in reality she escaped and they just assumed she died). Alec left Volterra and started living a simple life of a vegetarian. The Volturi were overthrown without their biggest weapons (Jane, Alec, and Demetri) and Edward.....sat in that corner staring at the wall for all of eternity. The end!**

**Also the letter he read at the end of the story...it was the letter Bella worte to him and put in Alec's room for him to give to Edward. I kinda thought you guys would know that but for those that didn't.**

**I don't want to hear update soon or what happens next or any of that. The story had a sad ending. No one is smiling. I'm sorry if you thought I was lying at the very beginning when I said it wouldn't have a happy ending. I was telling the truth. :P**

**Thank you for all the great reviews telling me you liked it. I'm glad you did. I did too when I first wrote it. :)**

**For those of you reading my other stories: I want to continue writing my Hope story but I also want to start on my Rosalie story. So expect an update from one of the two. :P Thank you.**


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